LiveJournal tells me I last posted 4 weeks ago! So much for regularity. =P
I just happened across something I wrote in March of 2007 to an atheist at some random site. I was interested to see where I was at that time...and thought I'd paste it here to keep it.
So many people are interested in responding to you here...I hope you feel loved! =) I came to this site a few minutes ago by random chance, after seeing books by Douglas Wilson at Amazon and doing a quick search to find out more about him. I have only known one atheist in my life, a long-time pen pal I met at a Jane Austen site, but I am...shall I say "fascinated"? by atheists...perhaps because I don't believe I could ever convince myself not to believe in God. The evidence in his favor is so totally overwhelming.
I enjoyed reading Douglas's review of the book...whatever it was...and his insight into the mind of the not-quite-atheist author. I enjoy logic and reasoning and debate, but after reading or skimming some of the responses, I started to feel a bit woozy. Too much human reasoning can be intoxicating, and not in a good way. As Christians we are commanded only to be "drunk on the Spirit." Although Festus was mistaken about Paul, I often feel like quoting him at points like this. "Paul, you're out of your mind! Much learning has driven you mad!" =P
So, wisely or unwisely, I feel compelled to jump in and offer my 2 cents...attempting to simplify the discussion. If I were sitting in a room with you right now, I would not attempt to convince you of anything by reasoning, intellect, or evidence (I'm not qualified, and not interested enough)...but I would still have a lot to say from my experience.
I was struck by Douglas's analogy: "I am saying that being a Christian has two levels. One is objective, like a man getting married. The other is subjective, like a man loving his wife...Richard Dawkins still has the former, and it still eats at him. He has never had the latter."
Obviously a man may be "married" by law without being in a real marriage, which I will define as a functioning, fufilling relationship that grows richer and fuller day by day. Never mind the failures, just turn off the cynicism and imagine the most perfect marriage you can...thinking of fairy tales if you must, or some other way to place it at the highest level. I find this a useful analogy because man, on his own, can never be more than religious: he can get a marriage license, perhaps even study the subject of marriage and become an "expert," maybe even meet his wife and start getting acquainted, but none of that is marriage in the realest sense of the word. He cannot know REALITY without being involved with another person. He wouldn't be a real husband yet--and probably an insufferable bore, if he'd studied so much of something he'd never tried. He wouldn't be a husband until he really got into the relationship and experienced all that marriage is meant to be. Religion and reality are opposites, in my way of thinking: head versus heart.
I won't take the analogy further because it doesn't exactly fit my point. (Although Christ is the "husband" of his "bride" the church, that's another whole topic.) I only want to say this: God is a person, and well able to speak for himself. If you are truly interested in finding out whether he exists, don't waste much more time reading books or debating or talking to people who say they know him, although knowing people who know him may be strong evidence to start with. If I personally meet 20 people who say they know, have seen and have talked to Douglas Wilson, I'd be logically convinced that Douglas Wilson exists. But if I have an insatiable need to know for SURE not only that he exists but who he is, I won't be satisfied until I meet him face to face, talk to him, and begin to understand his character and personality. Why don't we offer God the same opportunity? I think it's C.S. Lewis who says, "As if the good Lord had nothing better to do than exist..." No, he's got millions of better things to do, and you'll find out a few of them if you just go meet him. He has great and glorious plans, for which he created this world and every creature in it, and he's given each of us the choice and opportunity to be involved in his plans. He has recently shown me this in a new way and it blows my mind. I can hardly believe the abundance of insight, love, and joy he pours out on me, in defiance of all natural circumstances...and when I'm brave enough to ask hard questions, God never hesitates to answer them. I just have to be honest when I ask, and really want the answer no matter what the answer is.
So again (if I may say it politely), you're wasting your time if you're still waiting for proof of God's existence. You'll waste the rest of your life if you go on that way. Proof is all around you! If you want to hear about miracles, we can supply hundreds...with evidence. If you want logic, plenty of men can supply that too (some of them at this site). But you'll never be convinced by either. "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still," as my grandma would say. =) I don't know you so I can't say this as more than a possibility...but it may not be proof you're looking for, but a way to disprove all the proof you've already seen. Men labor hard to do this, and most do manage to convince themselves. But is that really what you want? Why not be open to anything? If God exists, then he created you, and if he created you, he loves you. If he loves you, he already knows you, and wants you to know him. If He created your eyes and ears and mind, He knows how to use all three to communicate with you, and to speak not just to your mind but to your soul and spirit. He communicates with me and with millions of others every day, and I have absolutely no doubts about this, or about him. His existence was never in question, for me at least...but perhaps the question all of us do face is the only important one: what about his character? Is he good? Should I
trust him? Should I place myself under his authority? Again, we can only answer for ourselves but my answer after many years (of very typical human struggle and trouble, I might add) is an overwhelming YES.
My atheist pen-pal stopped writing to me when she finally reached this point of honesty: saying that it wasn't exactly God she didn't believe in, but the Anglican God...one that she did not perceive as "just" or "merciful." It's been a long time since I read her statements, but the idea was that she didn't believe in any God who would judge people. All I could ask in response was how she could define "justice" or "mercy" in the absence of any real judgment or punishment. To be "just," God would give us exactly what we deserve, and to be "merciful," he would withhold what we deserve. God is purest love and mercy--in fact he himself is the very definition of all these traits, including justice--but this is only possible because there is an actual judgment to define them. Now I'm getting too philosophical and I'll probably say something silly and be attacked, so I'll stop. =P
Here, I found that quote, from "The Great Divorce," one of my favorite books: "There have been men before...who got so interested in proving the existence of God that they came to care nothing for God himself...as if the good Lord had nothing to do but to exist. There have been some who were so preoccupied with spreading Christianity that they never gave a thought to Christ."
This is the error I want to avoid, so although I have taken too long and probably gotten muddled in spots, I hope you'll understand I'm telling you that the answer is not where you're looking. If you want answers, you will find them, but you need to ask the Answer himself. Everything else will fall short. Everyone who has written to you, including me, is convinced for themselves, but our answers will never satisfy you because we each need our own personal answers to our own personal questions. God has those ready and waiting for you, but you need to meet him yourself. I pray that you will! Nothing could be more glorious--and it's the foundation of life itself. Blessings to you.
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